mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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