On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
