Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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