I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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