well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Randomize
