you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
