Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize