the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
