I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Randomize
