Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
i out mim tonsoeep
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