Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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