i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
