And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
