Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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