pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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