Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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