North Korea, Best Korea!
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I forget how to act sober
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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