Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
