ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
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