Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
