what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
