FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
