I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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