I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
They are going to name an STD after you.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
