The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
