We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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