Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
