Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
