U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
