sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I want a musical about memes.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
