Don't you send me to vm
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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