I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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