Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
