Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
