god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Randomize
