you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
