my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Everyone says I win the strip club
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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