You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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