John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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