I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
