Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
