Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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