Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
