Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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