I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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