i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
