I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
