Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
