I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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