life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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