I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Randomize
