wrigley field is MILF paradise
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
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